It’s been busy around these parts the last few months. My son has started his first year of high school.
I think I’ve been more nervous about this new transition than my son has been. This is it. The turning point. The last 4 years of school before he goes off into the world on his own, sorta. He’ll always be my baby, but legally considered an adult. That’s big. It’s epic. It’s scary. The thought of it still makes me nervous.
I remember high school very well. I hated it. It was not glamorous nor as corny as shown on tv. I didn’t grow up in Beverly Hills hopping in and out of beds with loads of money to spend and I didn’t live in the suburbs next door to a nerd who made wacky inventions and seemed to somehow help me learn life lessons saving me from the most disastrous dates either.
As I look back now, my high school experience was simple, although it did not seem like it at the time. It was just a lot of “stuff” going on. There were a lot of kids that looked grown, doing grown stuff, but not nearly grown enough to handle the consequences, which sums it up about right.
When we went to my son’s high school open house this summer, I walked down the halls observing the teachers and students. It bought back so many memories. I realized nothing’s really changed. Different year, same themes. High school halls are still filled with confused yet hopeful, impressionable bodies trying to figure out what they’re going to do or be. Biology, growth spurts and hormones all have taken the lead over the brain most days and the affected are trying to either fit in, find their way or trying to hide out until graduation.
As the girls walk by, smile and say hi to my son, I’m looking at them thinking they look so much older that he does. He’s giving the cool head nod response and I’m seeing in real time that we are embarking on a new level. It’s about to get real! It’s as if my eyes fully opened, he’s growing up!
Reality Hits
I am now on the other side. I was once like the girls I saw speaking to my son, crushing on boys, trying to keep up with the latest trends, looking at my body in the mirror every minute and wanting to be noticed. But now I’m the mama, guarding my son like Rochelle from “Everybody Hates Chris”. I found her character to be quite loud and crass most times, but you couldn’t deny the love she had for her family, especially Chris. She was protective. Rochelle screaming, “Don’t bring home no babies” became embedded in his head each time he daydreamed about a girl he liked. I don’t want to be on that level as a mom, but I am direct with my son, no coddling, usage of baby words for sex or body parts. We have real conversations because I can only imagine what he may be learning from his friends or tv.
Images
Long gone are the times when girls wore baggy jeans, baseball jerseys buttoned half way, with a tube top peeking underneath to show a little somethin’. To my moms generation, that was showing way too much! But today, It’s just skin, and the more it shows, the better. I dropped my son off at his homecoming dance and the young ladies had everything hanging out but their wallets. Breast, legs, thighs, backs, all to the view of everyone. Most are so bubbly, smiling from ear to ear, I wonder if they even think of the things us parents often worry about like being sexually assaulted, called derogatory names or sexual harassment. They seem so carefree and innocent.
TV and social media give the impression that most are living good lives. But that world they’re in isn’t real for most girls. For us everyday people, we see promiscuity, teen pregnancies, drug addictions and human trafficking. The only bright lights shown are the street lamps or headlights from cars for those that must sit and wait for the next guy to come along in the next few minutes.
In Hollywood, these girls may be called trend setters or idols. In the real streets, young women who act this way are called hoe’s and thirsty.
When young girls see celebrities to include girls their age half dressed, having “fun” humping floors and licking mics, all while giving the confusing message of “own your body, wear what you want”, why wouldn’t girls try to emulate what they see?
In contrast, I also see women who wear skirt or pants suits (figure fitting, but not tight of course) and career driven, work a 9-5 sometimes longer. She may be loud and proud, determined to get her points across of what she believes is right and/or wrong. She’s not so much into partying but will lay her hair down every once and awhile and doesn’t drink too much alcohol or worry about her looks or dress. Justice for others may be more important or simply achieving a promotion is what excites her the most. She’s unstoppable. Her whole external persona says “woman can do anything”.
What we often don’t see is the stress she may undergo to reach her goals, the time spent with family and friends she forgoes in order to study, work or attend important meetings. She’s not showing tired eyes and sleepless nights, or moments of not being taken seriously because she’s a woman in a male dominated profession.
Choices
So, how are girls supposed to choose which role they want to pursue as they grow into young women?
I don’t have all the answers (hope you didn’t think I would in this article).
No one has all the answers but God! When it comes to our young women of today, these precious high schoolers that are stepping into the real world, one can only be patient, loving and a teaching parent who is not afraid to bring that Bible out, quote scriptures and help them understand that their identity is in Christ and only in Him alone. No clothes, no makeup, no job/profession or any other change can compete with what the word of God says who any one person is or what their purpose will be. Holding firm to faith in God will be the wisest and discerning choice any young person (boy or girl) will need.
As parents, we must be that LOUD voice even if it’s not popular or by the world’s standards.
Lets Pray,
Heavenly Father in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ, we come before Your throne praising the works of Your hands. You have made and formed us perfectly since before we were in our mother’s wombs. You know our coming and our goings, what we’re destined to be, our purpose, our strengths and our weaknesses. We know our young people today are confronted with so many pressures from the world, confusion of gender identity, how to dress, temptations for fast money, cars, clothes and more. So we ask You Lord to grant us wisdom and strength as parents and loved ones to abide by the commands of Your words in order to raise our babies, our young boys and girls so that they grow into being what only You desire; young faith having Kingdom Image bearers wanting to glorify only You!
Amen
-MissyAnne
Deuteronomy 6:5-9 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
